Three Years

by Faith Holt

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Hassles It's Faith's story-telling. Her originality, her vocals, her subtleties, her honesty, her conviction, her everything.
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Here I present a batch of songs from 2012/2013 (minus "Speak") that were about to lay around and never see the light of day. Instead of letting that happen I set up at the house to record most of them as guitar/vocal performance like tracks and here we have the result. Throw them mostly in the order they were written and you have what is the story of that year for me. "Backseat" is a bonus originally recorded two years ago with friends.


released January 13, 2016

Guitars, Vocals, Tracking and Mixing for all songs by Faith Holt
Mastered by Eddie de Pool at BlueTape Studios



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Faith Holt Nashville, Tennessee


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Track Name: Speak
Sometimes I worry, I’ll run out of words to say
Or worse they just won’t mean anything
Maybe my silence will speak all the words that I can’t
Maybe my arms should just be a safe place to land

Cause sometimes I can’t speak
I can’t say the things you need from me
Sometimes it's like I think them but the words can’t seem to be
I'm sorry I can't speak

Oh, I can't

Sometimes your eyes speak more than your tongue
Sometimes silence is more than enough
Cause I can feel your thoughts beat right through my heart
And your eyes tell me everything I knew from the start

Sometimes you can't speak
You can't say the words you need to me
Sometimes it's like you think them but the words can't seem to be
I know that you're sorry you can't speak

I know, I know
I know, I know, I know

So while I have it in me to be able to speak my truth
Let me say the silence sometimes stays so I don’t hurt you
Cause I don’t want to say a thing that I will just regret
In a few short minutes and you'll hear repeat in your head

Oh, sometimes I can't speak
I can't say the words you need
Oh, I'm sorry I can't speak
Track Name: 1:42
The worst goodbyes are ones never said
They often come along with some regret
This one came along with time and now I think I might
Give up on being quiet

'Cause I've written songs about this many times
But let them go cause it would only bring a fight
Now here I am again cause it's not like we're still friends
I'll trade that pencil for a pen

'Cause you can't erase what happened here
The words you said to me will never disappear

You can take it back, take back everything you said to me
And everything we did, cause apparently it didn't mean anything
Guess I'm the only one who said what they really meant
I hope this was all worth fighting for cause now friends is a strong word

Was a time for you I'd do anything
Drop everything I had and not even think
But you'd never do the same but you'd say that I'm to blame
Can't say I miss your games

And I have to say I never knew
One night I'd be up late at 1:42
Writing all this down and that you wouldn't be around
That you'd have forced me to get out

'Cause I got tired of moving backwards
All because of you and your blind double standards


At least I can say I tried
Sometimes it helps me sleep at night
But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you

Some people grow with time
Maybe after some more you might
But for now, maybe this was right

'Cause there just wasn't room for me
So you forced me to leave

You can take it back
You can take it back
'Cause I'm the only one who said what they really meant
I hope this was all worth fighting for
'Cause now friends is a strong word
Yeah, friends is a strong word
Track Name: 2nd Ave
Was a cold night in November
Was the moment that I knew
You were gone
You were gone

Was standing on second avenue
And everyone was there
Except for you
Not you

Just a month before things were different
You said we would still be friends
Guess you lied
I know you thought you were right

I'm still upset I let you get the best of me
After I was already empty handed
But that's fine
That's a lie

Now three years or so have passed and I guess we're okay
But I still feel the way that my heart sank
But you'll never know

'Cause I think I'm selfish
Maybe I just wanted too much
But I just believe I wanted to still feel loved
But you shut me out

'Cause everyone before you always found the door
And I hoped you were one who thought I was worth more
But you didn't stay
Why couldn't you stay?

Why couldn't you stay?

Was a cold night in November
Was the moment that I knew
You were gone
You're gone
Track Name: Wrote Me Off
You can take it back, all those little things you said
Trying to change my mind, well I guess now we see that I was right
'Cause you can't look me in the eye
No, you won't even put up a fight

To save what we had, maybe you were just full of it the whole time
And broken promises and empty words to go along with that
Now I'm the one standing alone
You didn't have to go

But I don't owe you anything
I'm not the one who chose to leave
But you're too blind to realize you did
If you can just turn and walk away
I never really meant anything
Oh, you just proved that I was right all along

I wish you'd go away but you're everywhere I turn
And you know all my friends and they won't treat me like they did
You created this domino effect and left me here to deal with it
All by myself
I never, I never asked for this


How dare you come back and act like I'm the one to blame
When you're the one who never had anything to say
And it takes everything I have inside not to say everything on my mind
'Cause you couldn't have picked a worse time

I was gonna change my mind
But now I see that I was right

'Cause you wrote me off just like a letter
Never meant to send 'cause it doesn't matter
And maybe we were never friends and that'd be okay
But you broke that one promise that you'd always stay

You broke it, you broke it
So I don't owe you


'Cause you wrote me off just like a letter
Never meant to send 'cause it doesn't matter
Well, I'll be okay
I'll be okay
Track Name: Everything You've Got
Maybe I'm done with everyone and their stupid little games
'Cause there's only so much one person can take
Only so many words that never amount to anything
'Cause they never really say what they mean

So did everyone all sit down and say let's walk away at the same time
'Cause that's exactly how it feels right now
And I'm left here waiting on anyone
Anyone who will stick around

I'm done, worrying about everything
'Cause I've tried but no one seems to feel the same
Turns out you can be too kind
'Cause they'll take everything you've got
They'll take everything you've got

Somehow the only ones I wanna see are just too far away
And I'm left with people who pretend to hear me speak
But I'm not blind anymore 'cause I see
The only time they care's when I have something to offer them

So just look me in the eye
Tell me everything you said was just a lie
Just to get everything you want 'cause I know it's true
And I'm the only fool 'cause I believed in all of you
I believed in all of you


Oh, I'm done breaking my back for everyone
When no one will even look at me
After everything I try to do for everyone
Where were you when I needed you


Oh, they took everything I've got
They took everything I've got
Track Name: Questions
Sometimes there's a voice inside my head
Asks, "What are you doing 'cause you're not doing this right
Who do you think you are to think that this was meant for you
Who do you think you are 'cause these are things that you will never do."

And there are days, it never really stops
Reminds me of everyone who left, maybe they were right
Says, "Maybe this was all your fault, maybe you're the one who's wrong
'Cause you're the one who shuts people out and causes it to fall
It was your fault all along."

And truth is lately I haven't prayed in months
See I'm just really good at keeping this act up
Doesn't take much to fool the world, they only see with their eyes
But when it comes down to it you can't fool yourself
'Cause it'll tear you apart inside
It's tearing me apart

'Cause see I've got questions about the way things are
How they should really be and how they should not
What's all that talk about being free that I heard when growing up
'Cause I see people who should be but the world hasn't beat them enough
Will it ever be enough?

And there's the ones who turned their backs on me
Every time I think I forgive I find it's not what I mean
I keep dreaming they come to my face and they let me say what I want
But it's not what I really want
To forgive's what I really want
But I can't
No, I can't yet

'Cause see I, I was born inside this world
So there's parts of me I have to fight to control
Parts I know I should put to rest 'cause it's not who I should be
And more mistakes will come but that's okay
'Cause there's more than that to me
There's more than that to me

'Cause even when I turn away and say I don't believe
I find that even then he's making ways for me
When I give up hope, everything I've known
When I've never felt more alone
When I can't see the end or where I begin
He still breathes through me

And when these eyes fail, and this heart feels pain
When I can't see through this rain
He finds a way through everything 'cause he never gives up on me

When I lose myself to the things of this world
When I lose myself to wanting more
When I find myself so far away that I give up on everything

When I can't see past the place I'm in
And when I curse those around me
He still comes to where I am
'Cause he never
He never
He never
Gives up on me

I'm still here with all these questions
And I may, I may never get the answers
I know I will always believe, but sometimes it's not easy
I know you still love me
I don't know how you love me but you do
Track Name: Understand
I heard you in my dreams
Saying don't give up and don't give up on me
'Cause I never walked away
I know how this looks but I promise I'm here to stay

You say, "They don't understand
But don't forget who I am."

I, I've been here so long
I don't know any different but you say I don't belong
That I deserve more than this
But they shut me out, do they even know what love is

You say, "They don't understand
But don't forget who I am."

You, you always seem to say
In the end I'm gonna find my way
I've never had reason not to believe
So I'm gonna close my eyes so I can see

You say, "You don't understand
You forgot who I am
I can make them understand
But don't forget who I am
Don't you dare forget who I am."
Track Name: Gold
December tends to remind me of you
But the truth is, all the seasons do
And Lord now I know that time will never be enough
Even when all you do is count it down

And I swear I drove every last street in this town
When I said goodbye and you saw me out
And I would still say that, that night was the worst
'Cause I didn't know when you'd be back

But I, I thought you should know
Oh I, I thought you should know
You, you're worth more than gold
Yeah you, might be the only one I know

Oh sometimes I'm scared I feel you slipping away
'Cause sometimes we still talk but the things we did just couldn't stay
'Cause all of our old friends, they left without goodbyes
And I try to make new ones but it doesn't feel right


Oh promise me you won't worry about me
'Cause I promise I'm fine, though maybe not tonight
'Cause you may be more than a phone call away
But I promise that I, I see you somewhere everyday


Yeah you, you're worth more than gold
And you might be the only one I know
Track Name: Fighter
We were walking down the street
That's when you said to me
"Honey don't you close your eyes at night
For I feel something's coming for me."

Well I thought you were crazy
But I'm not laughing now 'cause the joke's on me
And now here I am on this road
And now I'm walking alone

Oh you said you'd never leave
Oh you said you'd never leave me
But I know you didn't go easy
Oh I know you didn't go easy
'Cause you love me

Well you fought it like a tiger
But those stripes started fading out
And once you started losing all your colors
It wore you down

But you were quite the fighter
I'll admit I thought you'd make it
And I'll never come to accept this
'Cause I never said everything I meant


Sometimes I wonder what you'd say to me
About all these choices I've been making
'Cause they're stealing all my sleep

And I'm convinced if only
If only you were here
Everything would be so much easier
But I know you had to leave


Now I'm walking down that street
Pretending you're with me
And I never close my eyes at night
No, I never close my eyes

No, I never close my eyes
No, I never
No, I never close my eyes
No I, No I never
I never close my eyes
At night