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Three Years

by Faith Holt

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Hassles
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Hassles It's Faith's story-telling. Her originality, her vocals, her subtleties, her honesty, her conviction, her everything.
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1.
Speak 05:10
Sometimes I worry, I’ll run out of words to say Or worse they just won’t mean anything Maybe my silence will speak all the words that I can’t Maybe my arms should just be a safe place to land Cause sometimes I can’t speak I can’t say the things you need from me Sometimes it's like I think them but the words can’t seem to be I'm sorry I can't speak Oh, I can't Sometimes your eyes speak more than your tongue Sometimes silence is more than enough Cause I can feel your thoughts beat right through my heart And your eyes tell me everything I knew from the start Sometimes you can't speak You can't say the words you need to me Sometimes it's like you think them but the words can't seem to be I know that you're sorry you can't speak I know, I know I know, I know, I know So while I have it in me to be able to speak my truth Let me say the silence sometimes stays so I don’t hurt you Cause I don’t want to say a thing that I will just regret In a few short minutes and you'll hear repeat in your head Oh, sometimes I can't speak I can't say the words you need Oh, I'm sorry I can't speak
2.
1:42 04:43
The worst goodbyes are ones never said They often come along with some regret This one came along with time and now I think I might Give up on being quiet 'Cause I've written songs about this many times But let them go cause it would only bring a fight Now here I am again cause it's not like we're still friends I'll trade that pencil for a pen 'Cause you can't erase what happened here The words you said to me will never disappear Chorus: You can take it back, take back everything you said to me And everything we did, cause apparently it didn't mean anything Guess I'm the only one who said what they really meant I hope this was all worth fighting for cause now friends is a strong word Was a time for you I'd do anything Drop everything I had and not even think But you'd never do the same but you'd say that I'm to blame Can't say I miss your games And I have to say I never knew One night I'd be up late at 1:42 Writing all this down and that you wouldn't be around That you'd have forced me to get out 'Cause I got tired of moving backwards All because of you and your blind double standards Chorus At least I can say I tried Sometimes it helps me sleep at night But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you Some people grow with time Maybe after some more you might But for now, maybe this was right 'Cause there just wasn't room for me So you forced me to leave You can take it back You can take it back 'Cause I'm the only one who said what they really meant I hope this was all worth fighting for 'Cause now friends is a strong word Yeah, friends is a strong word
3.
2nd Ave 03:05
Was a cold night in November Was the moment that I knew You were gone You were gone Was standing on second avenue And everyone was there Except for you Not you Just a month before things were different You said we would still be friends Guess you lied I know you thought you were right I'm still upset I let you get the best of me After I was already empty handed But that's fine That's a lie Now three years or so have passed and I guess we're okay But I still feel the way that my heart sank But you'll never know 'Cause I think I'm selfish Maybe I just wanted too much But I just believe I wanted to still feel loved But you shut me out 'Cause everyone before you always found the door And I hoped you were one who thought I was worth more But you didn't stay Why couldn't you stay? Why couldn't you stay? Was a cold night in November Was the moment that I knew You were gone You're gone
4.
Wrote Me Off 05:38
You can take it back, all those little things you said Trying to change my mind, well I guess now we see that I was right 'Cause you can't look me in the eye No, you won't even put up a fight To save what we had, maybe you were just full of it the whole time And broken promises and empty words to go along with that Now I'm the one standing alone You didn't have to go Chorus: But I don't owe you anything I'm not the one who chose to leave But you're too blind to realize you did If you can just turn and walk away I never really meant anything Oh, you just proved that I was right all along I wish you'd go away but you're everywhere I turn And you know all my friends and they won't treat me like they did You created this domino effect and left me here to deal with it All by myself I never, I never asked for this Chorus How dare you come back and act like I'm the one to blame When you're the one who never had anything to say And it takes everything I have inside not to say everything on my mind 'Cause you couldn't have picked a worse time I was gonna change my mind But now I see that I was right 'Cause you wrote me off just like a letter Never meant to send 'cause it doesn't matter And maybe we were never friends and that'd be okay But you broke that one promise that you'd always stay You broke it, you broke it So I don't owe you Chorus 'Cause you wrote me off just like a letter Never meant to send 'cause it doesn't matter Well, I'll be okay I'll be okay
5.
Maybe I'm done with everyone and their stupid little games 'Cause there's only so much one person can take Only so many words that never amount to anything 'Cause they never really say what they mean So did everyone all sit down and say let's walk away at the same time 'Cause that's exactly how it feels right now And I'm left here waiting on anyone Anyone who will stick around Chorus: I'm done, worrying about everything 'Cause I've tried but no one seems to feel the same Turns out you can be too kind 'Cause they'll take everything you've got They'll take everything you've got Somehow the only ones I wanna see are just too far away And I'm left with people who pretend to hear me speak But I'm not blind anymore 'cause I see The only time they care's when I have something to offer them So just look me in the eye Tell me everything you said was just a lie Just to get everything you want 'cause I know it's true And I'm the only fool 'cause I believed in all of you I believed in all of you Chorus Oh, I'm done breaking my back for everyone When no one will even look at me After everything I try to do for everyone Where were you when I needed you Chorus Oh, they took everything I've got They took everything I've got
6.
Questions 06:08
Sometimes there's a voice inside my head Asks, "What are you doing 'cause you're not doing this right Who do you think you are to think that this was meant for you Who do you think you are 'cause these are things that you will never do." And there are days, it never really stops Reminds me of everyone who left, maybe they were right Says, "Maybe this was all your fault, maybe you're the one who's wrong 'Cause you're the one who shuts people out and causes it to fall It was your fault all along." And truth is lately I haven't prayed in months See I'm just really good at keeping this act up Doesn't take much to fool the world, they only see with their eyes But when it comes down to it you can't fool yourself 'Cause it'll tear you apart inside It's tearing me apart 'Cause see I've got questions about the way things are How they should really be and how they should not What's all that talk about being free that I heard when growing up 'Cause I see people who should be but the world hasn't beat them enough Will it ever be enough? And there's the ones who turned their backs on me Every time I think I forgive I find it's not what I mean I keep dreaming they come to my face and they let me say what I want But it's not what I really want To forgive's what I really want But I can't No, I can't yet 'Cause see I, I was born inside this world So there's parts of me I have to fight to control Parts I know I should put to rest 'cause it's not who I should be And more mistakes will come but that's okay 'Cause there's more than that to me There's more than that to me 'Cause even when I turn away and say I don't believe I find that even then he's making ways for me When I give up hope, everything I've known When I've never felt more alone When I can't see the end or where I begin He still breathes through me And when these eyes fail, and this heart feels pain When I can't see through this rain He finds a way through everything 'cause he never gives up on me When I lose myself to the things of this world When I lose myself to wanting more When I find myself so far away that I give up on everything When I can't see past the place I'm in And when I curse those around me He still comes to where I am 'Cause he never He never He never Gives up on me I'm still here with all these questions And I may, I may never get the answers I know I will always believe, but sometimes it's not easy I know you still love me I don't know how you love me but you do
7.
Understand 03:10
I heard you in my dreams Saying don't give up and don't give up on me 'Cause I never walked away I know how this looks but I promise I'm here to stay You say, "They don't understand But don't forget who I am." I, I've been here so long I don't know any different but you say I don't belong That I deserve more than this But they shut me out, do they even know what love is You say, "They don't understand But don't forget who I am." You, you always seem to say In the end I'm gonna find my way I've never had reason not to believe So I'm gonna close my eyes so I can see You say, "You don't understand You forgot who I am I can make them understand But don't forget who I am Don't you dare forget who I am."
8.
Gold 05:38
December tends to remind me of you But the truth is, all the seasons do And Lord now I know that time will never be enough Even when all you do is count it down And I swear I drove every last street in this town When I said goodbye and you saw me out And I would still say that, that night was the worst 'Cause I didn't know when you'd be back Chorus: But I, I thought you should know Oh I, I thought you should know You, you're worth more than gold Yeah you, might be the only one I know Oh sometimes I'm scared I feel you slipping away 'Cause sometimes we still talk but the things we did just couldn't stay 'Cause all of our old friends, they left without goodbyes And I try to make new ones but it doesn't feel right Chorus Oh promise me you won't worry about me 'Cause I promise I'm fine, though maybe not tonight 'Cause you may be more than a phone call away But I promise that I, I see you somewhere everyday Chorus Yeah you, you're worth more than gold And you might be the only one I know
9.
Fighter 06:45
We were walking down the street That's when you said to me "Honey don't you close your eyes at night For I feel something's coming for me." Well I thought you were crazy But I'm not laughing now 'cause the joke's on me And now here I am on this road And now I'm walking alone Chorus: Oh you said you'd never leave Oh you said you'd never leave me But I know you didn't go easy Oh I know you didn't go easy 'Cause you love me Well you fought it like a tiger But those stripes started fading out And once you started losing all your colors It wore you down But you were quite the fighter I'll admit I thought you'd make it And I'll never come to accept this 'Cause I never said everything I meant Chorus Sometimes I wonder what you'd say to me About all these choices I've been making 'Cause they're stealing all my sleep And I'm convinced if only If only you were here Everything would be so much easier But I know you had to leave Chorus Now I'm walking down that street Pretending you're with me And I never close my eyes at night No, I never close my eyes No, I never close my eyes No, I never No, I never close my eyes No I, No I never I never close my eyes At night

about

Here I present a batch of songs from 2012/2013 (minus "Speak") that were about to lay around and never see the light of day. Instead of letting that happen I set up at the house to record most of them as guitar/vocal performance like tracks and here we have the result. Throw them mostly in the order they were written and you have what is the story of that year for me. "Backseat" is a bonus originally recorded two years ago with friends.

credits

released January 13, 2016

Guitars, Vocals, Tracking and Mixing for all songs by Faith Holt
Mastered by Eddie de Pool at BlueTape Studios

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Faith Holt Nashville, Tennessee

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